Lady General

543619_10150963851284009_151848874008_11979031_1013340885_n
Today is the fourth anniversary of my mothers passing. I miss her every day. When going through some old files a few days ago, I came across this letter that I wrote for my mom for her retirement dinner, many years ago. It is not sophisticated, but it does share just a little of how I feel about her.
Lady General –
Thought a lot about what I was going to talk about tonight. It leads me to a nickname my mom has, that ties together experiences of those who have worked with her over the years and those that she raised, her family.
The nickname “General” was given to my mom. If you know my mom I do not even need to explain it to you, she is in control, running the show, leading the troops, anytime she is involved.
I joke with friends I have met over the years, especially those I have met since living away from home, those who do not know my mom. I joke that even in my forties and several hundred miles from home, she can command my attention and get me to do what she wants.
I titled this little story “Lady General” because for a while that was my mother’s AOL screen name, the one she would send me countless chain emails from, you know the kind that tells you if you do not read it and send it to 2500 of your closest friends that you will get hit by a bus tomorrow.
But I picked the title “Lady General” because despite being the General of the family, my mom was and is always a mom, always a lady. She has worked hard for a lot of years, raising four kids, while keeping all of you in line at Crozer. I said to her just yesterday, I still do not know how she raised us and worked, yet still had dinner on the table, and we all sat down and ate together, most nights. I have been a working mother for almost 20 years now, and gave up on trying to do this and just married a man who could cook and was home more than me.
Sometimes when I remember you being there, I remember you barking out orders and making sure everyone was doing what they were supposed to do (aka what you wanted them to do), that is where the general comes in. I always remember you being there, for events, for dinner, sometimes even when I didn’t want you to be there, for that, I will always see you as a Lady, a mother.
Thanks Mom.

Cheaters never win, and…

6284956-256-kef83fcb7

I found out today that someone I have run with in the past has cheated in several races.  It really disturbs me that someone would do this.

My journey to get healthy through running, exercise, and better eating has been pock-marked with successes and failures, I could never imagine cheating myself out of this journey.  I think the thing that bothers me the most is this person, much like me, does not look like your “typical” runner.  When you struggle with your own demons and add in what others think of you it can be hard to keep going sometimes.  To have someone soil that with cheating is distressing.

I know this person does not represent me, yet I cannot stop being angry about it; the cheating was deep too, over at least three races.  Just to get people to think you are running and to get medals!?  If someone puts a medal around my neck you better believe I earned it!  Earned it with every painstaking mile, squat, and push-up.

Do not cheat yourself out of your accomplishments.  The way you live your life is up to you and you should not be ashamed of who you are.  If you do not want to run, don’t; if you want to eat fast food, eat it; if you want to smoke, then smoke.  But do not pretend to be something you are not.

There are too many people in this world who cannot do the things that I am able to do; people who are ill, or depressed, or otherwise unable.  To soil you ability with cheating is just wrong.

I had to get this out here so I can stop thinking about it and move on; thanks for reading my rant.

The Inevitable Thankful post

today i am thankful for brown

First, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  This is my favorite holiday because I get to be with my family with only the expectation to eat, and laugh, and love.  We have so much fun!  I will miss my extended family this year, but with just my immediate family alone a good comedy writer could come up with a sitcom.

I have not posted a daily “thankful” post online at all but today I do want to say a few of the things I am thankful for, because there are many, and it is important to reconcile them on occasion.

I am thankful for –

1.  My family – they cost me money, they make me think, I feel so much love for them, they make me cry, but most importantly they make me laugh and keep me real.

2.  The women in my life – I have so many amazing women in my life, women that are amazing and women that help me remember that not everyone can be trusted.  But mostly amazing women, women that inspired me to write this post  (and I have a few more to add to this).

3.  My health – a little over a year ago I would not have been able to say this.

4.  My ability to run and workout – After being so unhealthy for so long, to have run two half-marathons, with three more scheduled, to go to boot camp several times a week, feels amazing!  I am certainly thankful to be able to do these things.

5.  The amazing people I have met through running – the encouragement from those far better than me, and the kinship of those pushing through the same odds as me are invaluable in their ability to inspire.  If you do not run, you should start, the people are kind and amazing.

6.  My relationship with my father – my mother passed this past spring, I have learned more about my father in that time than in the past 49 years.  He still gets mad at me, which hasn’t changed since I was a teen.  I will miss my mom as long as I am on this planet.

7.  My job – and the people there that have taught me so much.

8.  The OPP – I will not say any more about this one :).

9.  Old Friends – those who remind me to be kind, those who remind to visit, those who remind that I will be there for them and they for me NO MATTER WHAT.

I wish everyone a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.  Enjoy everything around you and be aware of all of the things you have to be thankful for every day.

aware

Today, I need beauty in my life

I have not blogged about working out or eating in at least a few days.  Still on track in case anyone is wondering :).  I have found myself stumbling on beautiful things on the web and I just cannot help but share them.

Today, in particular I needed a little human kindness and beauty in my life, I found it in this video, so I am sharing it with all of you.