Cheaters never win, and…

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I found out today that someone I have run with in the past has cheated in several races.  It really disturbs me that someone would do this.

My journey to get healthy through running, exercise, and better eating has been pock-marked with successes and failures, I could never imagine cheating myself out of this journey.  I think the thing that bothers me the most is this person, much like me, does not look like your “typical” runner.  When you struggle with your own demons and add in what others think of you it can be hard to keep going sometimes.  To have someone soil that with cheating is distressing.

I know this person does not represent me, yet I cannot stop being angry about it; the cheating was deep too, over at least three races.  Just to get people to think you are running and to get medals!?  If someone puts a medal around my neck you better believe I earned it!  Earned it with every painstaking mile, squat, and push-up.

Do not cheat yourself out of your accomplishments.  The way you live your life is up to you and you should not be ashamed of who you are.  If you do not want to run, don’t; if you want to eat fast food, eat it; if you want to smoke, then smoke.  But do not pretend to be something you are not.

There are too many people in this world who cannot do the things that I am able to do; people who are ill, or depressed, or otherwise unable.  To soil you ability with cheating is just wrong.

I had to get this out here so I can stop thinking about it and move on; thanks for reading my rant.

If you are what you eat, I am in deep trouble

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This is easier said than done.  There, I said it, I am having a tough time with healthy eating.  I smoked for more than 30 years, over a year and a half ago I quit and have never looked back.  Don’t get me wrong, I certainly crave a cigarette at times, but I have not smoked and I could not imagine going back to it ever.

Same with physical fitness, I find time and joy in running and exercising like I never thought I would.  I have taken time out from routine on occasion but miss it when I do, and those time happen far less often.  It feels good to be moving and doing what is right for my body.

So that is two, what I would consider major obstacles, overcome; they did not come easy but they also did not feel impossible.  The eating thing right about now, feels impossible.

Here is a little bit more about me, I am hopelessly disorganized, I have report card notes going back to the 3rd grade where my teachers comment on my inability to get my shit together (they said it nicer than that, but it was certainly implied).  Right now I am using this as my excuse to not eat well; my excuse to eat what is handy.

I know that in order to work out each day, because I do it in the morning, I need to get my clothes and gear ready the night before, if I do not, I will likely not go because I am too scattered in the morning to put everything together.  So, my routine the night before my workout days is to lay out my clothes for either running or boot camp.  In the morning, I get up, get dressed and I am out the door.

I always start out like this with eating also, try to cook ahead, plan ahead, etc.  Then it quickly falls apart after a week or two, worst part is that I end up throwing away vegetables, fruits, and other perishables because I do not eat them.  I have heard and tried it all, cook on Sunday, prepare the night before, etc. but for some reason I have been unable to make it stick.

The other part of my problem is that I just like food, and I like sweets, and other things I should not eat.  I equally like healthy food and found that I can make amazing tasting things with basic healthy ingredients; but it takes longer.

Also, I do not like to cook, some people find it therapeutic, I find it time-consuming, boring, and all I think about is all of the cleanup that comes after I am done.

There, that is it all of my excuses, my whining, and my confessing.  It does not make it better and I still do not have a solution, but at least it is out there for everyone to see.  This part of my goal of being Fit and Fabulous at Fifty is really getting me down, I am not losing weight because of it, and it is something that I have not been able to overcome.

Anyone want to be my nutritionist, for free?  Because I have a daughter getting married in less than a year.  Between that and race fees, and bills, and gym memberships a nutritionist is not in the budget :).  Outside of a free nutritionist, I will gladly take free advice or an eating buddy, or something.

I will NOT give up on this, just that right now I have no more ideas or answers, and I do not like not having answers.

The Inevitable Thankful post

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First, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  This is my favorite holiday because I get to be with my family with only the expectation to eat, and laugh, and love.  We have so much fun!  I will miss my extended family this year, but with just my immediate family alone a good comedy writer could come up with a sitcom.

I have not posted a daily “thankful” post online at all but today I do want to say a few of the things I am thankful for, because there are many, and it is important to reconcile them on occasion.

I am thankful for –

1.  My family – they cost me money, they make me think, I feel so much love for them, they make me cry, but most importantly they make me laugh and keep me real.

2.  The women in my life – I have so many amazing women in my life, women that are amazing and women that help me remember that not everyone can be trusted.  But mostly amazing women, women that inspired me to write this post  (and I have a few more to add to this).

3.  My health – a little over a year ago I would not have been able to say this.

4.  My ability to run and workout – After being so unhealthy for so long, to have run two half-marathons, with three more scheduled, to go to boot camp several times a week, feels amazing!  I am certainly thankful to be able to do these things.

5.  The amazing people I have met through running – the encouragement from those far better than me, and the kinship of those pushing through the same odds as me are invaluable in their ability to inspire.  If you do not run, you should start, the people are kind and amazing.

6.  My relationship with my father – my mother passed this past spring, I have learned more about my father in that time than in the past 49 years.  He still gets mad at me, which hasn’t changed since I was a teen.  I will miss my mom as long as I am on this planet.

7.  My job – and the people there that have taught me so much.

8.  The OPP – I will not say any more about this one :).

9.  Old Friends – those who remind me to be kind, those who remind to visit, those who remind that I will be there for them and they for me NO MATTER WHAT.

I wish everyone a happy and healthy Thanksgiving.  Enjoy everything around you and be aware of all of the things you have to be thankful for every day.

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Today, I need beauty in my life

I have not blogged about working out or eating in at least a few days.  Still on track in case anyone is wondering :).  I have found myself stumbling on beautiful things on the web and I just cannot help but share them.

Today, in particular I needed a little human kindness and beauty in my life, I found it in this video, so I am sharing it with all of you.

Take pause and give strength

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My blog, From Here to Me, is really just a journal where I keep my thoughts and experiences as I go through this journey called life.  I have made a lot of changes over the past year and a half, I have failed at some goals, and far exceeded my expectations for others.  When I fail I have become much better at getting back up and trying again; when I succeed I feel great.

My journey is personal and a choice I have made for my life.  During this journey I have become more aware of others life experiences; some are on a journey not of their choosing, and others, like me, have chosen change, but may be struggling in ways that I am not.  The strength in the human spirit is remarkable!

Since I truly believe that there is strength in numbers and strength in positive thoughts I am going to share with you some information on folks that I know need strength.  I am asking you to offer a brief positive thought, or if you are so inclined, a prayer, for each of these folks and anyone you may know that needs this strength.  You could even share and add my strength to your list of folks in need.

Right now I know someone who is –

  • Trying to bring hope and a new life to a child in a bad situation
  • Watching their child lose her battle with cancer
  • Struggling with her loss of physical well-being and her marriage
  • Mourning the loss of her husband
  • Hurting because a relationship has ended
  • Dealing with excessive pain
  • Putting her life in order after getting laid off a job she has had for over a decade
  • A couple overwhelmed with debt because of recent illness

These experiences and journeys are all very different from mine and likely from yours; yet they are still similar and very human.

Take a moment today, pause, and send positive thoughts.  I will do the same for you.